I hate myself a lot. And I hate how people make me feel. And I hate how annoying I am when I talk to people, and how I feel the need to not even talk anymore because people don't care what I have to say. People don't like me, and some days I don't like them. But I really feel the need to be loved, and I don't get that. I especially feel the need to be loved by someone of the male gender, and I most certainly don't get that. Because I'm annoying. And I hate myself. And that comes across, and I have no self-esteem, so people don't like me.

And I don't even like what I write. It's childish and stupid and always full of emo-ish whining.

I feel worthless and useless and like I'll never amount to anything in my entire life, and I'll continue to make myself miserable for many years to come because I can't seem to think properly or speak properly. And people don't like me.

I'm ugly and fat, I do nothing to help myself. I've gained back about 20 pounds. I can't stop eating. I never feel well. I don't have a real date to prom. And people don't like me.

I have never had a first kiss. I've never had a date. I'm too shy. I don't shut up. I don't think. I just blurt things out. I'm blunt and honest. And people don't like me.

Most people don't like me I mean. And the ones that do like me love me, so I don't understand why everyone else hates me. It tears me apart day to day, and I don't know what to do to change myself so that people will accept me, yet stay myself so that I'm not playing games and will eventually fall into the deepest blackest pit ever where I will eventually become really super depressed and realize my problem is that I'm not being true to myself.

My big, fat, ugly, useless, worthless, dateless, kissless, truthful, annoying, aggravating, pathetic self.