FUCK. I forgot the Jussi Bjorling scholarship application was due today. Music scholarship for Gustavus is also what it's known as. But either way... god damnit.

Why is my memory always so freaking bad? I can never remember to do anything. I need to write it on the back of my hand in order to ever get anything done.

And my parents are absolutely no help to me at all. In fact, they make things worse.

I wonder if this is something that goes on in a mental way and that I need to talk to Sue about.

Shit... I don't know what to do now. I don't think I can send this out tomorrow. It'd be late. And that sucks. And thats not good. And I should've just sent it out when I sent the St. Olaf one. WHY ARE YOU SO STUPID JESSICA! DO STUFF RIGHT AWAY INSTEAD OF PROCRASTINATING LIKE YOU ALWAYS DO!!

I'm not gonna survive in college.

Or maybe I should just get a stupid calendar and attach a pen to it and put it on the wall next to me and write things in every time I think of them and stop being such a stupid whiny drama queen.

The new tape recorder I bought would also help solve this situation if I were to record my thoughts and listen to them later.

Blah. I''m so aggravated right now... I need some way to calm down, but I have no one to go out with. And thats what I really want to do. Go somewhere tonight. But I have no fucking friends in real life, so therefore I never have anything to do.

GRRRRRRRRRRRR *grumble grumble*