God, did Shaun piss me off tonight.

She pisses me off all the time anyways... I'm a friend-to-go-to-if-no-one-else-is-available friend. It didn't use to be that way... but eh. Times change. Not for the better, I would say.

She called me earlier today to see if I was going to the parade... I said I wasn't sure, I thought I was going to. I didn't know what time I was going, or where I was going to be standing or anything. We talked for awhile, she kept getting interrupted by her other friend... eventually we hung up and I thought that was the end of that. I thought I probably wouldn't hear from her for another month again. Well, I'm standing alone, freezing my butt off in the rain at the corner in front of the post office, and almost to the end she shows up and quick ducks under my umbrella. It was nice to see her... but annoying at the same time. After the parade, I invited her over so that she could get warmed up a little... it was frigid!! She had parked right by my house anyways, so she came over, and we hung out for like, 3 or 4 hours. We to the Napoleon Dynamite website, and watched some clips because we were talking about it anyways. I really want to see it again!!

So tonight, I go to the horribly busy and over-priced Cash-wise video (though I hear that Hollywood Video is not much better for their prices... possibly even worse), and low and behold, Shaun is there. We get talking and stuff, and I asked her if she wanted to do anything tonight because I was so bored... I really need something to do! I'm sick of sitting at home doing nothing but sitting on this computer or watching tv or playing instruments and stuff. I need social interaction sometimes, and I have absolutely no one to do it with!

Anyways, getting back on topic... we decided to go to see Napoleon Dynamite up in Lakeville, since the stupid Cinema 6 took it out of their theater yesterday. We make all the plans, my mom has already left the store because I told her I was going with Shaun, so I then have no ride home if Shaun ditches me... and then Shaun remembers she had made plans with Jeremiah. Stupid Jeremiah throws a kink in all of our plans all the time. It's always Jeremiah this, Jeremiah that. Theres something I don't like about that kid... he seems like he's hiding something from everybody. Something scary. I don't know what... so don't ask me, but he's creepy. She then tried talking to him, to get him to come with us. He decided to be a dick and said no, and demanded that Shaun come over to his house to hang out like they had planned.

God I sound selfish. blah.

Anyways, she then felt bad that she had even thought about ditching Jeremiah, and dropped me off at home. Leaving me with absolutely nothing to do once again, and sour taste in my mouth.

I'm sick of her just... not being a very good friend to me. She's called off plans with me before to do something else with someone else. Why couldn't she do it for me?

She said that Jeremiah complains a lot more than I do, and she knows that I'd be a lot more understanding than he would be.

Once again, I am used as a fucking doormat. Great.

And I really wanted to see Napoleon Dynamite again, damnit. She suggested we go tomorrow... but I want to go to the dance tomorrow night, I think. I dunno. I'm not sure. I don't want to miss it, but then again, I know I'm gonna be miserable if I do go because I'll have no one to talk to and I'll just feel like a goddamn idiot. Maybe if I get her to go see a matinee with me, and then get home by 8:30 or 9 to start getting ready for it.

Obviously, homecoming isn't as big a deal to me as it is to some people. I hope last year's dress still fits me. I've lost an awful lot of weight...

I kind of don't want to deal with her again though. I'm sick of it. She doesn't make me feel very good. I dread seeing her, and then I feel great and like an actual person when I'm with her, but then after I see her, I feel horrible once again. It's not good.

I should just make a bag of popcorn tonight (after we have supper... haven't even ahd that yet) and watch Romeo and Juliet. I doubt it'll make me feel better, but at least it's a good movie.

My question to you... how many times did I use the lords name in vain in this entry? I really need to stop doing that...